He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
