Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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