I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
