I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
