a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
