the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
