the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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