Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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