I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
