you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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