I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
