New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
