Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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