Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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