Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
