Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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