cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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