summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize