i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm passing your future prison.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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