we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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