At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
