The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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