She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
