i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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