Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
