Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Actions speak louder than pants.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
