My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
