no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You made out with two different species that night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
