Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
