I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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