I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
