We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
