I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
