And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
did i walk over a car last night?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
