spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
try to milk me bitch
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