yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
