You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
