my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
