i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
