just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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