I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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