Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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