last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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