wanna go halves on a baby?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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