My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just gargled with NyQuil
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
