What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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