fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
