is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
