Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
