Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
