you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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