i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
